Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How is it cheating if we are not together?

You are at a party, looking absolutely fabulous, and spot a cute guy. You introduce yourself. After a few minutes of conversation you realize not only is  this person cute but he has brains too. The feeling is mutual and you two exchange phone numbers.
Fast forward two months and things are going great. Weekly date nights and spending nights at each others places. You both are even having conversations about how much you care about each other. He surprises you at work. Sends you flowers and buys you gifts. You couldn’t be happier!
One day you are talking to one of your friend on the phone and she has something she’s been dying to tell you. She saw your guy at the movies all hugged up with another girl! Shocked by the news, you call and confront your him. You call him a dog, a cheat, and a liar. You tell him you feel betrayed. After you are finish ranting your life way, your boo calmly says, “Why are you getting upset? We aren’t together anyway!” WHOA! That comment leaves you stunned. Okay, so no, you guys didn’t have an official talk about “titles”. It wasn’t necessary, right? After all, you spent so much time together, you thought it was something that was silently understood. He was your man and you were his woman, no questions asked. Unfortunately, it is called DATING!
In 2012, titles in relationships mean everything. The problem with us women is that we assume that men know exactly what we think, feel, and want. Unfortunately, they don’t. We as women sometimes assume that men want the same things we do. This might be true but men are not mind readers. You have to spell it out to a man. Not sure how? No fears! Here are a few tips to help single women tell their “boo thangs” they want to be much more.
  1. Recognize when feelings change
Everything is fun now but there’s going to be a moment when you realize that you really care for him. The other guys you were talking to no longer matter. You start doing things for him that you normally wouldn’t do unless in a committed relationship. Don’t ignore these feelings. Own it! You are at a point where you can’t help but feel the way you feel even if you tried to change it.
  1. Do you really like him or do you like the "sexual activity"?
Women are having the hardest time separating love from lust. After all, he makes you physically feel good so he must love you right? Wrong! I've seen amazing sexual activity make women forget about all the negatives about a man (i.e. Stevie J. and Joseline). He might be your dream lover in the bedroom but a pure asshole any other time or have a whole bunch of other character flaws. If this is the case, no need to have the talk about being in a committed relationship. If you like the sex ,continue to do it but leave it at that… JUST SEX!
  1. Let him know how you feel but DON’T be overly dramatic about it
After you have recognized your feelings and realize it more than just the sexual activity, it is time to let him know. If you want him to be your boyfriend you MUST do this. Don’t wait for him to do it because it may never happen. Please do not prepare a long drawn out speech or excessively tell him you love him. You are not trying to propose, you just want to be in a committed relationship. Let him know you thought about it and want to be in a committed monogamous relationship. Let him know that you like and care about him but don’t become too emotional and scare the poor boy off.
  1. …and if he doesn’t want commitment?
This is not a guide to trick a man into being in a relationship with you. There is a chance he might say he is not ready for committed relationship and just wants to have fun. Yes, it might hurt your feeling because you were hoping the feeling was mutual. No need in crying or going so hard at him he eventually tells you yes just to shut you up. You don’t want someone who doesn’t really want you. Guess what…he’s just not that into you and you have just dodged a bullet. There are plenty more fish in the sea my friend!
The lesson for today, titles means everything. Don’t assume you are in a committed relationship with your guy. Instead of living single and confused, talk to him about it. If he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship with you at this point, move on and live your best single life!



*This Blog entry is from a previous blog I use to have. I decided to post some of the relationship blog topics on here. Enjoy :-)

1 comment:

  1. And don't get angry at him just because he doesn't feel how you feel. We are going to take whatever benefit that you give us without having a commitment, so that's the risk you take. Not our fault.